Musing


Radfem / Asexual
ADHD / MDD / PS

Questions?

lesbipocalypse:

sadkrakenbaby:

lesbianwarfare:

8bitsofsexiness:

lesbianwarfare:

8bitsofsexiness:

kuunakullanvalkeana:

I want a book about a girl who falls in love with another girl and doesn’t have a crisis because she thought she was straight but because she knows what other people will think. I want her crush to have never kissed boys, and I want a film where she doesn’t kiss boys…

I agree with this almost 100%, but there is some bi/pan/asexual erasure happening here. My heart dropped when I got to the part about the author.

I’m pansexual and happen to have fallen in love with a man.

I am also a writer, and one day, I hope to sit down and write a story like any of these (even a combination of several).

But I don’t want my readers to see my picture and read my bio and think, “Oh she’s not a real lesbian” because I may not be a lesbian, but I am very much attracted sexually and romantically to girls. My heart is just taken.

In fact, if you do look at a scale, which I don’t, I’d fall more towards the lesbian side, but I don’t consider that my sexuality. I’ve always looked at it like that I’m 100% open to whoever captures my heart.

Saying that because I am in love with a man makes me less than erases my sexuality and tells me I’m wrong for claiming that I like girls or that I’m lying to my significant other about my true feelings. It also makes others like me hide from all lgbtqia groups because we feel like outcasts… Like we aren’t good enough or that we’re faking. And that’s not true.

That mindset is just as hurtful as someone telling someone lesbian or gay that they’re abominations. It makes us feel the same way, but this time, excluded from both groups.

I think the point is that there are plenty of authors out there like you. There are tons of writers who like girls but are taken by men. You are already represented. Do you know who isn’t represented? Lesbians. Lesbians with no history with men. Lesbians with absolutely no connections to men at all. 

The point is that you aren’t a ‘real lesbian’ because you aren’t a lesbian at all? We’re not excluding you to be mean bullies, you’re being excluded because you don’t fit the criteria. I don’t care how much you like girls, if your heart is taken by a man then you’re simply not a lesbian and thats fine but thats not what this post was about. Be a bi/pansexual writer and represent that part of lgbt but don’t do it at the expense of lesbianism.

Please don’t derail posts about lesbian specific literature. Lesbians need to be represented. We need young girls to see women with absolutely no involvement with males and to know that its okay, to know that they are normal for not wanting a thing to do with males. This is not about you and it is absolutely nothing like calling a lesbian/gay an abomination. 

I’m not saying there shouldn’t be lesbian writers. I believe there should be many lgbtqia writers writing to help all those needing it… To give them something that says, “I am not alone.”

What I am saying is that to write stories about girls unfazed, untouched by men isn’t confined to just strictly lesbian writers. I can write about that without identifying as lesbian. I hate labels just for this reason.

I want those stories too, and I want to be able to write them without girls being hurt by the fact that I’m not a lesbian. Because they, like you, apparently, will think me less than as a writer and probably as a person… As it always has been with bi/pan/asexual people.

We are taught that we aren’t good enough because we haven’t “chosen a side” or that we’re just “greedy and can’t make up our minds.” People don’t understand us, and I would like to write books about that as well.

Unlike you, where you know going anywhere what people may say about you, I live in the Deep South, and at any given point, I can be called abnormal, unnatural without them ever knowing my sexuality… All because I walked up with a man. People don’t even consider my sexuality as an option.

Have you seen the news articles? People say, “oh, so she’s straight now?” if a bi/pan woman gets in a relationship with a man (and vice versa). We are a concept no one likes to grasp.

This probably wasn’t the post that I should have made this on, but it struck a cord with me, and I usually can’t control the rant that comes after.

I’m not trying to erase lesbian authors, but I do want to be taken seriously if I write about issues that do affect me.

 

"Unlike you, where you know going anywhere what people may say about you, I live in the Deep South, and at any given point, I can be called abnormal, unnatural without them ever knowing my sexuality… All because I walked up with a man. People don’t even consider my sexuality as an option."

What I’m taking from this is that somehow I’m lucky because I know that I could be beaten to within an inch of my life for being a lesbian. That somehow not being recognised as a sexuality is the same as fearing for your life or not having equal rights. Boo fucking hoo. 

You need to get a grip. Erasure is not exclusive to bi/pansexuals. Lesbians are erased every fucking day, we are never a priority and your derailing this post to talk about the woes of bi/sexuality is a prime example.

This was absolutely not the post to write this shit onto. 

 

Holy shit. 8bitsofsexiness has to be one of the most selfish people I’ve come across on tumblr in a long time.

I mean, how selfish and gross do you have to be to see a post about lesbian women wanting lesbian representation and lesbian authors* and, as someone who is involved with a man and who is not a lesbian, go, “Hey, what about meeee? Aren’t I good enough? Why don’t you want me and people like me exclusively telling your stories?!!! Pay attention to me! It’s erasure to want stories about lesbians written by lesbians!!”

Apparently, to 8bitsofsexiness, actually erasing lesbian women and insisting that our stories can/should be written by non-lesbians isn’t even a little bit important — the important part is that we must declare open season on our stories for women who are not lesbians, who are involved with men. Because how dare lesbian women want lesbian literature written by other lesbian women, without “including” a ten-page disclaimer about how okay it is or is not for non-lesbians to appropriate our stories and pretend that they know what it’s like to be us because “I like women, even though I’m with a man”.

(Protip: 8bitsofsexiness, you do not know what it’s like to be a lesbian because you are not one. You don’t have a “right” to our stories. And you sure as fuck don’t have more of a right to our stories than we do as lesbians. So please do kindly shut up about how badly you want to write our stories for us and how you should be able to do so, because 1) literally no one said you couldn’t and 2) this is not the post for that bullshit. This was literally a post about lesbian women wanting more stories by and about lesbian women who have not been involved with men and who do not end up with men. This is not the place for your BS about how your writing should be enough for all of us because you, as a non-lesbian, totally know enough about liking girls that you clearly know everything there is to know about being a lesbian. No. STOP.)

And apparently, now, it’s a “privilege” to know you could be beaten or killed or fired or otherwise abused or harmed if you went in public with your partner!! All those dirty looks I get when I hold my girlfriend’s hand on the bus are a “privilege” now!! How about fuck you and the horse you rode in on?

(* Particularly about and by lesbian women who have not been involved with men. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Society as a whole — and especially straight men and bi/pan women — sends a message to young lesbians that they are not “allowed” to identify as lesbian unless they’ve “tried” having sex with men. Straight men and bi/pan women shout to lesbians that “sexuality is fluid!” or “I bet a good dick could ‘cure’ you!”, and otherwise bully, coerce and force lesbian women into having relationships or sex with men in order to be “legitimate” as lesbians.

Additionally, society in general erases and demeans lesbianism to where many women force themselves into relationships and sex with men because they don’t want to believe or admit that they are lesbians. Or because they don’t even know what a lesbian is, other than the harmful and demeaning stereotypes parroted by society.

It is incredibly important for lesbian women, especially young lesbian women, to see representation of lesbians in media — books, TV, movies — who don’t have to “try” sex or relationships with men before they are considered “legitimate” lesbians. It is of paramount importance that we make it clear that you don’t have to have had sex with a man to be a lesbian, and that you can be a lesbian without ever having dated or fucked a man, and that it doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian because you haven’t tried and failed at sex with a man.

At the same time, it is also of serious import that lesbian women are able to see that there are other real life lesbian women who have not dated or had sex with men. This real life representation is important, too. It’s important that lesbian women can read a story about lesbian women who don’t have relationships with men and look up the author and see that they, too, for real, have not had relationships with men. It’s important that they don’t look up the author and see that they ended up with a man in the end, just like most of the “lesbian” women on TV do.

Nobody’s saying that stories about lesbian women who have past relationships with men, or that are written by women who have/had relationships with men are not valid or are not good. What we’re saying is that these other stories, written by and about lesbian women who have not had relationships with men, are important, and that derailing a discussion about the need for these stories is wrong.)

(So, again, to reiterate: Write whatever the fuck you want. Write about lesbian girls. I like it when people include actual lesbian characters in their writing without making them fall for men or, you know, die tragically because lesbians aren’t allowed to be happy. But putting yourself forward as more important than lesbian authors and saying that your desire to write our stories should erase/destroy the import of lesbian authors telling lesbian stories is gross and wrong and you need to stop.

Also, please stop acting like people not recognizing your sexuality on sight is worse than the actual discrimination and violence faced by people in same-sex relationships.)

(P.S. Saying that a woman who is in love with a man isn’t a lesbian and should not be an example of a lesbian author who writes lesbian stories isn’t even in the same galaxy as saying that lesbians or gay men are abominations and fuck you very much.)

cloudcuckoolander527:

yayfeminism:

One would assume that scientists, who are trained to think objectively, are completely immune to gender discrimination. However, a recent Yale study by Corinne Moss-Racusin and colleagues suggests otherwise.
The researchers created a fictional student and sent out the student’s application to science professors at top, research-intensive universities in the United States. The professors were asked to evaluate how competent this student was, how likely they would be to hire the student, how much they would pay this student, and how willing they would be to mentor the student. All of the applications sent out were identical, except for the fact that half were for a male applicant, John, and half were for a female applicant, Jennifer. Results showed that, with statistical significance, both male and female faculty at these institutions were biased towards male students over female students.
Data from the study shows that on average, science faculty was willing to pay the male applicant about $4,000 more per year. source

"The gender gap doesn’t exist" 
"We don’t need feminism" 
"Maybe he just worked harder"
"*any MRA bullshit*"

cloudcuckoolander527:

yayfeminism:

One would assume that scientists, who are trained to think objectively, are completely immune to gender discrimination. However, a recent Yale study by Corinne Moss-Racusin and colleagues suggests otherwise.

The researchers created a fictional student and sent out the student’s application to science professors at top, research-intensive universities in the United States. The professors were asked to evaluate how competent this student was, how likely they would be to hire the student, how much they would pay this student, and how willing they would be to mentor the student. All of the applications sent out were identical, except for the fact that half were for a male applicant, John, and half were for a female applicant, Jennifer. Results showed that, with statistical significance, both male and female faculty at these institutions were biased towards male students over female students.

Data from the study shows that on average, science faculty was willing to pay the male applicant about $4,000 more per year. 
source

"The gender gap doesn’t exist" 

"We don’t need feminism" 

"Maybe he just worked harder"

"*any MRA bullshit*"

(via thenowhereriot)

When a white teenager named Steve Lohner was stopped by the police last month and refused to show his ID after carrying a loaded shotgun on the streets of Aurora, Colorado (the same city where a mass murderer killed 12 people and injured 70 others in a packed movie theater in July 2012), the teen walked away with nothing but a citation. But when a 22-year-old black kid named John Crawford picked up a mere BB gun in a Walmart store in Dayton, Ohio last week, customers called the police, who then shot and killed him. Here lies a racial disparity that’s difficult for honest people to ignore. How can black people openly carry a real gun when we can’t even pick up a BB gun in a store without arousing suspicion? The answer in America is that the Second Amendment doesn’t really apply to black people.

Keith Boykin: Does the Second Amendment Only Apply to White People? (via clambistro)

Shit, neither does the first. As demonstrated by the reaction to protesters in Ferguson. 

(via be-blackstar)

none of them damn amendments were written for us.. Y’all they still see us as commodities… NON-HUMANS… Vessels for profit.. Whether it’s the prison industrial complex.. Entertainment.. etc etc… We are supposed to produce capital.. WE ARE CAPITAL.. So these amendments will never apply to a commodity…

(via michiko-malandro)

Emphasis on ‘honest people find difficult to ignore.’

(via sensei-aishitemasu)

(via plansfornigel)

Please help me keep a roof over my head

hellborndaughter:

hellborndaughter:

Hey everyone,

Due to some unforeseen circumstances in the last week and a half, I am going to be $150 short on my rent that is owed on the 1st. I was able to get an extension from my landlord to pay by the 3rd without late fee penalty which is $5 a day.

I don’t have any goods or skills to trade for donations, but I would really appreciate all the help I can get. I’ve been trying to sell personal items on Craigslist and things like that but am having no luck so far.

If you can donate, you can find a donate button on my profile or send me a message asking for the email address.

If you can’t donate, I would really appreciate a signal boost.

Thank you all for taking the time to help in whatever way you can.

Okay so since I cannot get the donate button to appear on a page or in a post, and my layout prevents people from being able to click on the actual button and I don’t know how to fix this,

the email address for my paypal is keiha.danaher@gmail.com

Thank you again.

reyairia:

Hello, my name is Strong Female Character, and my secret power is reaffirming the heterosexuality of the disproportionately male cast.

(via respexual)

alvaroarbehoa:

*watches Jon Stewart’s comments on Ferguson* hey look it’s a white man getting heaps of credit and adulation for saying the exact same shit that black people have been saying for weeks now. how unexpected.

(via dirt-goddess)